Guess Who's Back

Guess who's back!!!!!!

It's me CeceMarie....hopefully

So much has happened since I've last written. New job, new guy, break up, and more
I will be attempting to write again, but can't make any promises due to my new busy work schedule. I left my old job of 2 years and started a new one which requires me to work 5 days a week and I'm still in school. Time is not on my side, but I need to write, I breathe to write, and since I have no time to dance, blogging is back.


I've actually found time to date, but unfortunately after a month we broke up already. Don't jump to conclusions though, this guy wasn't so bad. Actually I really like him, but as I stated in my previous blog, I am at a point when I need to walk away when I feel like it's necessary. I will call this guy The Ladies Man, this is not to say he was a cheat or a flirt. He treated me good and actually didn't give me bull...kind of. See Ladies Man has a lot of female friends and I mean a lot. As you can imagine based off of my other post, this is a problem for me thanks to See Me. The females friends wasn't why I left though.


Ladies Man had a habit of leaving out what I see as important details when he went out. For instance, one night he decided to take his friend out to the strip club, which was already hard for me to deal with, but I let it go. The problem I had was days later while reading his text messages (yes I read them cause I'm nosy and have trust issues) I learned that he invited one of his female friends to go with them, which still isn't the problem. The problem was that when we talked about that night he never mentioned this harlett ( the name I use for his female friends lol) being there. Actually, he specifically stated that he and his friend spent the night just talking and drinking at the bar and did not engage with any ladies, yet he never mentioned the chick that was there.

What really got me mad was that Ladies Man saw nothing wrong with this. He couldn't even understand why I would be upset by the fact that he omitted the fact that he asked this harlett to go with him. To him I just don't want him having female friends, but the truth of the matter is, I just wanted him to be honest about spending time with them. For the first time I trusted that he wouldn't cheat or anything, but he lied to me, which makes it hard for me to trust people (again thanks See Me and Clark).


The end result to this was I broke up with him and he let me. Now all he had to do was apologize and say he would just tell me the truth and explain why he omitted it in the first place, but no. That was asking for too much. I think the problem was he listened to what I said, but didn't hear me. I was planning on just disappearing and never communicating with him again, but clearly he is good at having female friends so I figured what the heck lets be friends. I'm not sure it was a good idea though because it just seems awkward to me. But who knows what will happen.


To be continued....


Coming soon, tales of the 36 and Hillbilly

Unreflected

I could tell you I love you and it wouldn't mean a thing

My words are mere whispers that travel in the wind

I could tell you I need you and you'd walk out the door

My love is your heated home, but you embrace winter's cold

I could tell you I'm sorry for all that I've done wrong

My apologies are unopened letters that's been sent to the wrong home

I could tell you that I'm you and you are me

My being is your shadow so in darkness you live

Cracked

Thinking of you sets my eyes on a down pour like rain
Ashamed that my heart still beats off the pain
Insane to think that we once shared a love
Cursed by our thoughts, we no longer fit like a hand to a glove
Twisted words and unsung sorrows were borrowed
Silenced by fear lead to unpromised tomorrows
Resist you I cannot so I still travel the broken lane
I'm the broken Payne

Pollinated

Black butterfly I'd sail across your water
I sailed your seas once & I'm ready to sail again
You're the park and I'm amused, your love is my demise
One ride on your rollercoaster and I'm prepared to fly
With no wings I'm your flightless bird, a dodo if you will
Admittedly stupid for you cause you give my heart a thrill
Raspberry to my tea, you quench my heart's thirst
I'm that rose that grew for you
It's you who have the power my flower

My Favorite

This a one of the cheesiest things I've ever written. It was written a while ago about Clark. It's a part my mini poems collection that I wrote.

 

Sweet Caroline got nothing on you

I want my baby back, Chili's has a song so true

I'm Oz and you're my wizard with your lies I didn't hurt

You're my Angel and I was, I'm Cordelia to the core

See I'm charmed by your magic, even Leo's white magic won't work

Like a hero, save me so I can cheer again

My heart was chicken that got burnt; you had a taste and spit me out

I'm the net you just keep missing and I'm praying you take it to the rim

Unwritten Fairy Tales

Now that I'm stronger my days seem longer

Filled by the emptiness of love

I've fixed myself, became happy within, but outside I'm a lonely shell

It's hell

See I'm beautiful to the core, but my light doesn't shine through

The world is so lonely without you

I stayed true or I tried, but for you WHY; you sure don't give a damn

My man, not anymore those fools you adore while I'm tossed to the side

I died

Built myself up from the ground now I say I'm proud, but I'm lonely once again

Seems like the best gets treated worst than the rest; it's a test that I passed yet you failed

Why does my heart yearn for the lost, it's loyal and that's why

Now I'm stuck kissing frogs

You're my prince at least to me, but I've still yet to see you grow from a frog to a man

Autism Speaks: A Charity Important to Me

Hello All,

I appreciate everyone of you who read my blog and know that I look forward to your feedback. Anonymous comments are welcomed.

Those who know me know how much I love working with children with Autism. April was Autism Awareness Month and in the month of June, Pittsburgh will be having their Walk Now for Autism Speaks events, which I will be taking part in. I am asking that you go to my page on the Autism Speaks website and donate however much you can. Every little bit you give, gets us one step closer to doing better research to learn about treatments, causes, and gain a better understanding of this miraculous population. Autism is not a disease, it's a different perspective on life!!!!

Please visit http://www.walknowforautismspeaks.org/pittsburgh/cece623 to donate today

Thank You